Episode 18 – Making Friends with Fear in 2021

Fear. We all know her but I feel I’ve let her have the command of the direction of my life for too long. In this final episode of 2020, I discuss my feelings about fear and what I want to change in 2021.

Thank you for joining me on this journey through this year and for listening. You’ve allowed me a space to dive deeper into myself and I hope, through doing so, you’ve been able to find undiscovered parts of yourself, too.

I’ll speak to you next year but, for now, I’ll leave you with this.
Feel free to send me an email sharing your thoughts, your goals, and your resolutions. It would be lovely to hear from you!

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Episode 19: I Quit Social Media & This Is What Happened. She Uncensored

At the beginning of December, or thereabouts, I decided to quit social media for a while. I'm not a huge social media user anyway and I've never felt comfortable putting my personal life online for just anyone to see. Personally, it doesn't feel right for me to allow strangers insight into my life and to have a bigger audience than the people directly around me. Quitting social media basically meant deactivating my Instagram account as that was my main vice. (I said farewell to Facebook a few years ago, Twitter was something I never really understood the hype, Snapchat was a no, and TikTok I'll leave to Gen Z.) I just thought it would be a nice break from constantly picking up my phone and mindlessly scrolling for fifteen – twenty minutes. What I didn't expect was all the other benefits that came with it…Quite honestly, I'm shocked at how I feel now. So, in this week's episode, I discuss what I've discovered in the last few weeks, the changes I feel, and what my thoughts about social media are. This is all my opinion, by the way – you can disagree and you can argue. Right now, I'm more than happy to continue with this social media free way of life. What do you think of social media? Think I'm talking crap? Or maybe you've given up social media in 2021? Perhaps you're someone who can't live without it, or you've never had any social media accounts? Whatever your thoughts, let me know. Email me at sheuncensored@gmail.com or head to http://www.sheuncensored.com
  1. Episode 19: I Quit Social Media & This Is What Happened.
  2. Episode 18 – Making Friends with Fear in 2021
  3. Episode 17: Resilience – What it is, and how you can increase your resilience in every day life.
  4. Episode 16: You Need to Take a Break – Making Space for Rest in the Hustle Culture
  5. Episode 15: Exposing Female Beauty Standards – Assumptions, Stereotypes, & Experiences [Part 2 of 2]

2019 – Resolution 1: Agree to Disagree

I was speaking to a friend recently who’d had a knock of confidence. “You know those people who just make you feel this big?” she said, as she motioned an inch gap with her thumb and forefinger. “That’s how he makes me feel all the time. He’s just so…patronising.

We’ve all met those kinds of people. They just have this way of speaking to you, or looking at you, or not looking at you in some cases. They exude this sense of authority and we hate that they make us feel the way they do. Perhaps it’s a snide comment, specifically aimed at you that no-one else would understand. Or maybe it’s a sneaky side-eye look when they know that no-one else is looking. Or maybe it’s an exagerated sigh for the dramatic effect just so they make sure you know how much of a fucking imbecile you are…

But you’re not an imbecile, are you? No, you’re not.
You’re just trying your best, like everyone else in the world.

Listen to me now – you are not too much, little, lazy, hyperactive, affectionate, reserved, loud, quiet, extroverted, introverted, emotional, sensitive, or whatever else they make you feel you are.

You are not too much of anything.

You are bloody fantastic the way you are.

Think about it for a moment – Who has control over your emotions? Who has control over your self-perception? Who has power over your self-esteem?

You do. And only you do.

The only reason these people make us feel like shit is because somewhere, deep down inside of us, we actually believe what they are saying. We believe that we are too much, or too little. We believe that we are too shy, or too outspoken. We feel that they have uncovered our secret that we’ve been trying to hide. And, when we agree with what they are saying, that’s when we hand over that power to them to define how we feel about ourselves.

It stops here, darling. For 2019, let our first resolution be this – we agree to disagree with people because, the truth is, these people only have power over you if you let them.

When people make us feel like we are too much of this, or too little of that, we can hear what they say and reject it. We can disagree with their opinion because – get this! – their opinion over us is not gospel. It’s merely their opinion. In the grand scheme of things, their opinion doesn’t mean much because how is being made to feel too much or too little constructive to our growth and self-development? These people come to criticise, to steal from us. More often than not, these opinions that cut us deeply are supposed to have that effect.

So, in sum, fuck them. That’s not to say act like an asshole toward them but quietly reject their opinion and hold yourself in higher esteem.

Let 2019 be the year we take back our power and stand proud with who we are.