I’ve been ill recently. Yet again, my body has become a burnt out mess from my refusal to rest appropriately. My signs are Leo, Sagittarius, and Aries, and my elements are significantly biased toward Fire (50%, if you’re wondering.) As such, I’m constantly burning even when I appear calm and, as a result, burning out is an all too common occurance for me. The last time I burnt out was two years ago in 2016 and, before that, it was in 2014. I guess we could say I was due for another one.
This weekend just gone was the first weekend I’ve spent alone – properly alone – in a while. My husband was away, the car with him, and being ill I didn’t move from the safe haven that my bed had become. During this time, I was able to read a new book purhcase that’s been waiting for me – Mary Magdalene Revealed by Meggan Watterson – and it made my heart sing. So much so, it inspired me to finally sit down and write this…
A while ago, I considered how we allow people’s opinions to overpower what we know is best for us. For example, sometimes you just need to chill out, skip the gym, miss that workout, and stay at home eating crisps and watching trash TV. You may not know why, but you definitely know that you feel tired and you just need a break. Simple…until you share your plans with someone and they try to push you into going to the gym anyway. Hey, no hate here – sometimes these individuals mean the best for us and they want to try and motivate us. Their hearts are in the right place but this type of behaviour can push us into doing things that aren’t really aligned with our best intentions.
Another example could be of you sharing your aspirations with someone – a dream you’ve had for so long and you’re thinking of going for it – but their face casts this shadow and they emphasise how hard it would be, or they knew someone who tried it and it didn’t go well. Or maybe you’ve decided to end a toxic relationship in your life because it was hurting you and, now, people are telling you that you were wrong to do it…
The list goes on and on because everyone has an opinion (we’ve talked about this before, remember?)
When we take the opinions of others to heart, or we allow them to tell us how our story will end, we give away our power for a moment and the ability to define our own lives. Only we are the ones who should have the authority to tell our own story but, too often, we allow the fears/resentment/envy/unintentional negativity of others to overshadow our decisions. Very often, the negativity we encounter will likely be from those who do not know us well…
You see, some of people do have our best intentions at heart and their fears are genuinely rooted in our wellbeing. These are the individuals who are part of your inner circle, the ones who help you sail in this life. These opinions are safe to consider and, if these people recognise that what you are about to do will cause you to flourish, they will have your back 99% of the time. I’m not talking about being reckless here, I’m talking about your life and knowing what will help you get to the next step, move onto your next chapter, bring healing to your heart, or ultimately benefit you in the future.
Listen – if you feel called to do something in your heart, or try something new, or do something different, or make a huge change in your life – do it! Do not let anyone project their fears, their doubts, or their envy onto you. No one else in your life ought to have the power to overpower what you know to be right and to be true for you. Trust your gut, trust your instincts, and trust yourself. The more you give in to other people’s predictions, the less of a relationship you will have with yourself. Do not erode the vital connection you have with your soul in favour of a fleeting opinion someone may have of you. When talking about her faith in the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Meggan Watterson stated how she and her friend “had to become fierce about recognizing what’s true for us.”
We’ve had to become fierce about recognizing what’s true for us.Meggan Watterson – Mary Magdalene Revealed
What a thing to get fierce for and it applies to us all. Only you can recognize your own truth. Others only have a small perspective of your life; they do not know your bones like you do. They do not know your deepest fears or what motivates your soul to soar. You do. Hold onto this and, when you find things that will ultimately bring you more joy, peace, and freedom into your life – this is your truth you need to align yourself with. Because, as Meggan said further on in Mary Magdalene Revealed, “there can never be a spiritual authority outside of me that is greater than this voice I hear within, this voice of my own uncaged heart.“
Trust yourself. Learn to lean on yourself. Put yourself in circumstances where your judgement is the final decision. You can start small – with listening to your body and finding out what it wants for lunch that day. You can choose to wear what makes you feel good without worrying about the judgement of others. Or, you can level up if you feel ready – making changes to your job if you know you’re unhappy. You can choose to no longer have a toxic person in your life. You can choose.
You can choose what is right for you because you are the greatest authority in your life whilst you’re having this delightful human experience.
You can choose how, why, with whom, when, and where.
You can choose in all your greatness and your power. You can break the shackles that have bound you for so long. You can choose to push yourself out of your comfort zone. You can choose to live out the best life for yourself with the small decisions, or big ones, that make everyday a more joyful place to live out your life.
Stop letting other people’s ascribed narratives hold you back. Stop letting the fears of other people’s judgements keep you caged. When we allow people to dictate what happens, it skews our vision and we start thinking of other people’s judgements before we think about what suits us best. It makes us afraid and limits our expansion into the world. It keeps us small and, listen sweetie – you were not made to be small. You were never meant to be caged.
We need you to do this in the world because, in doing so, other’s are enabled to do the same. When you live without fear of other people’s judgement, you stop judging others. Those around you are gifted with a person who holds the space long enough to hear what they want to do and have a resounding “YES!” for an answer. In return, they expand, they move forward, and they do the same for others.
So that’s the final lesson, isn’t it? When you set out in the world to help yourself, you inevitably end up helping – Tutti.Elizabeth Gilbert – Eat, Pray, Love