I’ll be honest with you – I’ve been feeling a little off lately. There’s a disconnect between my head, my heart, my mouth, and my actions. Life has become a task some days of simply trying – trying to be happy when I really don’t want to be because I feel stressed, trying to stay afloat when I feel like the stress is being too ballsy and threatening. Stress is a huge trigger for me – managing my mental health is more or less a balancing act of priorities, devoting time for myself and time for others. Time to blow off steam socially and time to rest in simplicity alone. Therein lay the disconnect and I felt like my soul had become a little stagnant. It was like I was so caught up in the little details of life that I forgot about the bigger picture – what I’m here for during this short time on earth and what lights me up (see ‘About’ for more info on this.) I stopped growing and learning for a moment. It was a real wood for the trees minute, yaknow?
So, I did what I always do when I’m stuck in a rut – poured my heart out into my journal and tried to contact that ever present calm within me. The part of my soul that knows. The part of me that is ever patient and ever full of love for this stresshead mind I’ve got.
My question formed after a few sentences of free writing – “How do I grow from here?”
I was listening to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert and the passion, vulnerability, and integral way that she spoke just stirred my heart again to come here and write to you all.
It’s so easy to get stuck in the routine, the rut, the mundane tasks of life. That’s when life loses it’s magic and everything becomes a chore – that’s where I’d gotten to. I just literally could not be fucking arsed anymore. It felt tragic. That’s when we start asking questions like “What am I doing?”, “Where am I going?”, “Why am I doing this?”
It’s not wrong to ask those questions at all – it’s very good, in fact, making yourself aware of your experiences. However, whenever I’ve asked those questions to Life, they’ve always been born out of a place of sorrow and they’re more rhetorical. But when you ask “How do I grow from here?”…you surrender your heart to a place of hope, and Life comes rushing back in full colour again. Asking “How?” shows you are willing to learn, you are willing to understand. It says “show me” to Life again.
To me, life is all about learning and evolving and becoming the best version of You that you can be so that you can help others become the best version of Them they can be. Through doing this, we become the best versions of Us and we realise that we’re all in this ride together.
“How do I grow from here?” opens your eyes to the mundane and shows you how it can be a wonderful learning curve for personal growth and development. It exposes your weak points and your triggers so you can learn about them, pour love on them, heal from them, and move on…
Because that’s just it. I firmly believe that Life is a complex thing but she’s always gearing us up for the next level. The things that you learn at this stage in life are preparing you for the next stage. If you show up now, when things are at their most difficult or boring or unexciting, you will definitely show up when things are going well. Everyday you can learn something new about life, about yourself, about your experiences if you just ask “How do I grow from here?”
For example, my friend had a job she managed to hold down for three years. She hated it. It was long hours, the relationship she had with her boss was difficult, she got no respect or applause for the work that she did (and she did a fucking lot.) But everyday she showed up. She showed the fuck up and worked her ass off. She was learning in the classroom of Life and Life was gearing her up for the next level. Despite the darkness that time was for her in her life, she was learning wonderful skills that she would pass on…
And pass them on she did because after three years of hard fucking graft, she landed her dream job and is excelling at it. She showed up in the hard times so there was no doubt that she would show up in the easy times. Life was teaching her things and it wasn’t until she had all those skills together that she was ready to move onto the next chapter of her life.
The greatest adventure you will ever make will be the one you make with your heart. Some people travel the world and don’t change because they’re not learning. Some people, however, never move from where they’ve lived their whole lives and transform into someone entirely new. They do so by learning; absorbing everything Life gives them, enriching their soul, and transforming that learning into action.
Whenver you feel stuck in a rut, ask Life “How do I grow from here?” and suddenly Life’s magic opens back up to you.