2019 – Resolution 3: I’m Not Sorry

Our final resolution for 2019?

Last year, I went to see A Simple Favour with a few friends. For those who don’t know, the main characters are Stephanie (Anna Kendrick) and Emily (Blake Lively). Stephanie is a stereotype of bubbly femininity and one of her foibles is constantly saying “sorry!” for no apparent reason. Emily eventually turns around and says “Never say you’re sorry. It’s a fucked up female habit.”

Aint that the fucking truth.

We literally say sorry for everything. Someone holds open a door for us and we apologise for not walking through it fast enough. We bump into someone and immediately apologise. We go to state our opinion and apologise before even saying a damn thing!

Saying sorry just means that, on some level, we think we are wrong, or we aren’t good enough, or we don’t have the right to say or do something. When I really thought about why I was saying sorry all the time I realised it was because I wanted to please people in order to be liked.

Yeah, well, fuck that.

Stop apologising. You have the right to voice an opinion. You have the right to take life at your own pace. You have the right to fucking do what needs to be done, say what needs to be said, and to be here on this earth. It’s time to stop excusing yourself, sweetie.

I mean, think about it – most of the shit you apologise for isn’t your fault or isnt even a problem. Women apologise for everything. We’d apologise for fucking breathing if we felt it necessary. Stop being self-conscious about the space you take up in this world and just fucking own it. If anyone has a problem with you let it be them because (unless you have mortally offended them or their families or whatever) it’s their issue to deal with, not yours. You are not put on this earth to please everyone else at the detriment of yourself.

Moving forward this year, every time you feel the need to say ‘sorry’, pause and think. If it’s unnecessary, which 9 times out of 10 it will be, then switch it around and turn it onto the other person.

“Sorry I’m late” (because of traffic that was out of your control and not your fault) becomes “thank you for waiting – traffic was crazy this morning!”

“Sorry!” as you’re walking through a door (that someone is holding for you out of a matter of their own choice) is simply “Thank you for that, I appreciate it!”

“Sorry but would you mind…?” is changed to “Please could you…?”

In reality, sorry starts with us – we’re just thinking of ourselves and usually from a self-conscious and negative perspective. Putting it onto the other person allows us to understand others better and reminds others of their worth. Apologising doesn’t always communicate how much we appreciate others.

Let 2019 be the year we’re not sorry.

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