I’m Not OK and That’s Fine

We’re not made to feel happy all the time. In fact, feeling positive every day through every rain and every shower is simply not possible. We can’t always function from a place of joy and, no, happiness isn’t always a choice. Shit happens and we feel shit as a result.

And that’s just life, my darling. That’s just the way things are. We ebb and flow between moods like the sea on the shore. Our circumstances change like the seasons and we must adjust in order to endure the hot or cold temperatures. It’s OK to not be OK because – surprise! – you’re human. Our emotions are such a uniquely human experience and you don’t owe anyone an apology for that.

You don’t have to apologise for having a bad day or for feeling bad.

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Sure, if you act like a dickhead toward others, apologise for your actions but do not apologise for feeling the way you do.

So often we try to fight our way out of bad moods and sad days. We wage war inside ourselves against a perfectly natural emotion because we have been conditioned to see a relationship between happiness and being liked, or happiness and being rewarded, or happiness and strength. We are scared that, by letting the happiness slip, it makes us unlovable, difficult, and we will be thought of negatively as a result.

Sometimes we can, and sometimes we should, try to find our happiness again. However, there are just those moments…those days…where it’s simply not possible.

So stop fighting and just fucking feel it.

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Wallow in it. Go on – stay in bed and wallow in your sadness. I’m not even joking. Give in to the fact that you feel like shit and just sit with it and let it be. Take a time out from the world, clear your diary, cancel the meetings, re-arrange with friends, and tell your family you’ll come another day. Lock yourself away in the bedroom with crap TV all day. Play games on your phone for three hours. Watch funny and weird YouTube compilations of cats being assholes. Get the Kleenex and bawl like a baby…

You don’t have to understand why you feel like you do; sometimes it’s a build up of tension, or relief from stress, or just your body wanting you to let it all go. Tears are incredibly cleansing and healing, so do your best ugly crying and let it all out. Trust that your body and spirit know what you need and let them do their thing.

The important thing is to not feel guilty about it or judge yourself. You already feel low so don’t heap more shit on your head. Do whatever you feel you need to do to rest, to let your feelings flow, and wallow in your negative vibe. Give yourself that day…or two…or three. Repeat as long as necessary.

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Then, go to sleep and wake up to a brand new day. When you’re ready, get up and get on. You’ll find it a little easier today to be positive, to be grateful. Self-care and self-love isn’t all about Netflix binges and face masks, expensive spa days, or exercising. Self-love occasionally looks like locking yourself away and being sad because that kind of self-love is honoring your humanity.

You don’t owe anyone happy. You don’t owe anyone positive. First – you owe yourself love and care and kindness and honor and respect always.

One thought on “I’m Not OK and That’s Fine

  1. Yes! I have been catching up on everybody’s blogs, since I just got back from vacation, and I saw another post similar to this. Let me see if I can find it… Here: https://www.stilltheluckyfew.com/how-a-bad-mood-may-be-the-best-thing-for-you/

    People are so quick to tell you to medicate a bad mood, or snap out of it. But it is impossible to feel joy, if you don’t allow the other stuff in too.

    I do, however, have to be careful about wallowing. I’ll let my brain have its hissy fit, or spend a yoga class in child’s pose under a blanket, or whatever I need…but then I have to get up and move forward. I have a tendency toward self-pity and learned helplessness. I don’t fight my sadness and grief, but I do count my blessings at the same time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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