Have you ever been amongst a group of people and you’ve suddenly become more reserved? Or you fantasise being in the middle of a large crowd, unashamedly yourself, and making everyone smile? Perhaps you’ve not been the fullest expression of your personality because you’ve felt you shouldn’t flourish amongst such an exciting bunch of individuals? Have you ever felt intimidated and ashamed to be you because you feel you just cannot compete with everyone else’s wonderful-ness?
I feel you.
One thing I hear a lot from others, which breaks my heart, (particularly when they’re dating someone new) is how they feel they’re “punching above their weight” and that the other person is “too good” for them.
Listen – that kind of negative self-talk will get you nowhere and you weren’t born with that opinion of yourself.
Hear me out here…you can be grateful for someone and hold them in high esteem without putting yourself down in the process.
All of us have different stories which lead us to this place that we inhabit right here, right now, in this very moment.
Owing to our complex personalities, our upbringing, our nature, our nurture, we are all capable of making different choices, selecting different careers, holding different opinions, and having different levels of wisdom. One thing I’ve learned is that anyone is capable of anything – both good and bad. As a result of all this, you need to remember that just because you feel someone has a better job than you doesn’t make you a failure. Likewise, just because someone makes a poor life choice, this doesn’t make you any wiser.
When we talk about not feeling good enough, I feel that most of this self-depreciative talk is something we have learned. Over the course of our years, the criticism we have received, the fear we have felt, and the judgements of others…they all take their toll on our self-esteem. Sometimes you need to press pause and ask yourself…who taught you to think less of yourself? Who taught you to dim your shine?
Who told you that you weren’t good enough/funny enough/pretty enough?
Who told you to calm down/shut up/keep still?
Who ignored you when you asked for help?
Who told you that you were too much of something?
When did you learn the false truth that your shrinking helped others grow?
Please don’t ever be afraid to be wonderfully you. Be the fullest expression of yourself whenever you can and however you can. When you are being unashamedly you, it is so inspiring to others. Through being yourself – the process of being confident in your strengths and weaknesses, comprehending your flaws and fantastic-ness – this encourages the people around you to follow suit.
You see, when you are comfortable with yourself, this confidence simply overflows onto others as you start to celebrate them, not berate them. When you are confident, you no longer spend time berating others through jealousy; instead, you encourage them and build them up. Self-love begins to overflow into loving others because you have already shown kindness to yourself.
You’ve no need to feel ashamed, or to feel that you somehow don’t “measure up” to the people around you. You excel at being beautifully and completely yourself, bringing your own colour and fragrance and spirit into this world.
Don’t compare yourself to others – we’re all on different journeys and your story is yours alone. Learn to love yourself. Learn to embrace those flaws. Expand into your brilliant self and see how your life changes as you attract positive things. Fill the space you were supposed to fill on this Earth.
The flowers don’t die when they are surrounded by other flowers of a different beauty…
The stars don’t stop shining when they see other stars glowing in the sky…
The sun doesn’t stop lending her light to the moon when she sets the night aglow…
Neither should you shy away…
Your time is now and we are waiting for you to be fully, and so wonderfully, you.